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Joke of the Day

"Did you know they're killing off a main character in my little pony? There's no more apple jack."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Conga ! Conga who? Conga go on meeting like this !"

"Everybody wants to change the world, but no one can find a diaper that's big enough."

"How much does freedom weigh? A WashingTon."

"""Because Im a goddamned rock star!"" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned."

"[at divorce lawyer] bad news, currently all your husbands assets are frozen ""he didn't"" he bought 1547 copies of it, he must really hate you"

"What is difference between a good joke and A bad joke timing."

"""You're what you eat"" So when will your mum become me?"

"[at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass"

"I just flew in from Nova Scotia and boy, are my arms tired... From jacking it in first class the whole way."