204517

Joke of the Day

"ME: let me be frank DAD: [eyes widen] ME: and if you say hi Frank I'm dad, I'm gonna be real pissed DAD: fair enough GonnaBeRealPissed"

"A guy walks into a bar... The real joke is in the comments."

"What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail."

"Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up"

"Drugs are bad...when they wear off."

"A combo of two classics. Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to your house. .................. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken!"

"Pooping is just like Game of Thrones. You either win or you die."

"The moments I'm not eating are somewhat torturous."

"""Relationship experts say romance novels are bad because they give women unreasonable expectations. It's what porno films do for men."""

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch"""