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Joke of the Day

"origin stories: spiderman: bitten by spider green hornet: bitten by green hornet gambit: bitten by a gam magneto: bitten by magnetic toe"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it. *Heard this from my hubby last night."

"It's weird how many of my ancestors were sepia-toned."

"What did the vampire say to the teacher? See you next period!"

"Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened."

"What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains? A zombie."

"A three-legged dog hobbles into an old western saloon He limps up to the bartender. ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Your clever title is half the joke."