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Joke of the Day

"You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic."

"'Do Not Touch' Must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille"

"[Gives husband a list for groceries] He brings home 1/2 of what's on the list and someone else's kid."

"Ancient Aliens"

"Your mom's like a shipping warehouse. ""Deliveries in the rear. """

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go to the store without Robin."

"I've heard of trauma causing blindness like when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walked in on each other masturbating"

"Q: Have you read the book about very cold temperatures? A: Not only does it have two covers, it has a jacket."

"Q: What does a bankrupt frog say? A: ""Baroke baroke baroke."""

"Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so"