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Joke of the Day

"A few days ago I wanted to share a sandwich with a homeless person... ...but then he told me to fuck of and that I should buy my own sandwich."

Next Joke
 
"I've stopped texting ""K"" and started texting ""L"" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb."
"Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them."
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"Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT"
"I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves..... Free"
"well, i guess this was bound to happen. i left the pot and the kettle on the stove overnight and the pot committed a hate crime."
"Where do Irish people go for breakfast? Drunkin Donuts"
"What do you call a closet full of lesbians? A liquor cabinet."