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Joke of the Day

"Someone refine this joke if it's needed. Ay girl, I heard you like wearing food. Do you know where I can get jalapeno panties?"

"I can't stop starting at the Mona Lisa... I think I'm in Louvre."

"Two cats are swimming across a river, who made it across? one's name is ""one two three"" and the others name is ""un deux trois"". who made it across? one two three, because un deux trois cat sank."

"My son was thrown out of school today.... for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said ""son, that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you"""

"If I could be indestructible for a day, its scary how many sharks I'd make out with."

"Give weeds an inch... And they'll take a yard."

"How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb? At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a dog! Sit!"

"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"

"What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?"