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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does a poor mans cube look like? A: It's a sphere."

"The inventor of AutoCorrect... ...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off."

"What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights? Hypertrophy!"

"""To be and not to be"" ~ Schrodinger's Hamlet"

"Whats the difference between a joke and three dicks? Your mom cant take a joke."

"My therapist claims I'm a narcissist, but what does he know? Clearly not as much as me."

"I was having sex with a female amputee in the dark I trying to figure out why my ass hurt, but she had me stumped."

"*walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*"

"So anyway, one of my favorite pastimes is not drowning."

"I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too."