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Joke of the Day

"Having kids can really strengthen a marriage. My wife and I never had a common enemy before."

"What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon? He got lemonaids."

"What did one hat say to the other? ""You stay here, I'll go on ahead...."""

"Why do Gay guys wear condoms? To play star wars."

"ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen."

"I don't call it lying down, I call it landscape mode."

"What begins with a "" C"" ends with a ""T"" has a ""U and a ""N"" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle. A coconut."

"*whispers softly* ""...is there a King Latifa"""

"I mean, if Marie Antoinette didn't want her head cut off, maybe there should've been actual cake. ~ Why I was kicked off the debate team"

"Someday, when I'm really old, I hope I can sit my grandchildren around my rocking chair and text them pearls of wisdom."