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Joke of the Day

"What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea? It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)"

"My grandpa use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels!"

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally."

"I'm going to save my resolution for 2015, I think I want to be an asshole for another year."

"Mom asked, ""Are you going to see the new Michael Moore documentary?"" Wife replied, ""Magic Mike XXL?"""

"I'm making a documentary show about the different jobs in the air travel industry. The first episode is about the flight attendants."

"What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear"

"Knock knock Help"

"whats 12 inches long and snaps a cunt? a selfie stick."

"Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted."