199311
Joke of the Day
"Tell you what I know about dwarves very little. I can say that, they look up to me."
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"""Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs"" could also describe every menu item at Olive Garden."
"""I can't believe you slept with her!"" ""Well, we were both drunk, and..."" ""But I thought you don't drink?"" ""It's true, but she was drunk enough for the both of us."""
"Dark humor is like kids with cancer... Never gets old"
"God grant me the patience to accept the people whose outfits I cannot change."
"Ever since I ate that Dominos artisan style pizza I can't stop painting my bathroom."
"You have the perfect face for radio."
"Yo mamma is so fat her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight."
"Ladies, if you're over 50, you may wanna rethink the cowboy hat. It's terrifying."
"If a woman drinks a glass of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well."