198832

Joke of the Day

"I ordered a little salad before my meal and my body started to twitch. I told my waiter, but I forgot I ordered the seizure salad."

"My spouse just said I'm such a cheap date that he knew he'd actually save money by marrying me. I'm apparently the Geico of women."

"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."

"One woodworm met another. ""How's life?"" she asked. ""Oh same as usual"" he replied ""boring."""

"I bought a shower curtain on Amazon once and now every time I log in Amazon acts like I'm the guy who fucking loves buying shower curtains."

"What is the most searched word on Bing? Google."

"Why does the Pope only eat munchkins? Cause they're the holy part of the donut!"

"Just pressed a picture of my new Corvette against the glass of the shark tank at the aquarium & said ""You guys ain't shit."""

"I always ware my Seahawks jersey on test day... Because i know ill pass even if i shouldn't"

"I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I'm depressed."