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Joke of the Day

"My boss says I need to work on my people skills & he needs to work on his changing four slashed tires skills."

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"Consent... The only way to stop rape 100% of the time!"
"Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse."
"Girlfriend Detective Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."" Me: ""Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."""
"What did the Elk say after leaving a gay bar? I cannot believe I just blew 50 bucks back there!"
"Why do Leprechauns always laugh as they run across a field? The grass tickles their balls"
"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious."
"When people say ""Let's not get off on the wrong foot here"", I reply ""Please don't get off on either of my feet""."
"Why should you leery of stairs? Because they are always up to something."
"How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron."