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Joke of the Day

"My hot dislexic co-worker said she had an important massage to give me in her office... When I got there, she told me it can wait until I put on some clothes."

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"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan."" - drugs."
"They say 3 out of 4 people text and drive Not me; I watch YouTube videos."
"I'm gonna color my hair ... or dye tryin'"
"two Penguins Two penguins went to the bakery and asked for bread. The baker asked: do you want white or brown bread. then te penguins replied: it doesnt matter because we came on our scooter."
"Excuse me Ladies, but my eyes are up here."
"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"
"Do you know the 6 states of matter? 1. Solid 2. Liquid 3. Gas 4. Plasma. 5. BoseEinstein condensate 6. Black Lives"
"What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane? Hi Jack!"
"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"