197648

Joke of the Day

"I think the funnest part of a prostate exam is when I fake an orgasm."

"Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks."

"Why did the boy die? Because he ate honey nectar and then went to the store and tried to buy some mustard and got eaten by a Stegosaurus"

"Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. ""Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."""

"I'll have a salad but on top of a burger with cheese ""So you want a cheeseburger?"" Yes but when you bring it to me say here's your salad"

"Did you know Helen Keller is on the back of the Alabama quarter? ""No, and I bet she hasn't heard about it."" ""She probably hasn't seen it either."""

"I'm 27, my BF is 37. Is 10 years too much of an age gap? 'cause his son is 17 and really hot."

"What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model."

"Knock knock! Who's there? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton who? ...Who's asking?"

"melancholy is my favorite feeling that also sounds like a delicious dog"