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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."

"Stop making history jokes!! They're getting old."

"What is a nitrate? It is much cheaper than a day rate."

"""What do we want?"" ""Hearing aids."" ""When do we want them?"" ""Hearing aids."""

"Did you hear about what happened with the elk? It was really amoosing."

"How does the Ultimate Warrior repair his car? With parts unknown."

"What do you call a paraplegic archer? Legolas."

"Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned"

"IF I HAD A NICKLE EVERY TIME A GOP OFFICIAL CALLED TRUMP'S BEHAVIOR ""UNACCEPTABLE"" BUT ACCEPTED HIM AS NOMINEE I COULD START A FAKE COLLEGE"

"The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host What happened? He turned out to be a big boar."