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Joke of the Day

"What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!"

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"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless it's a black bulb then he calls for backup."
"Never get drunk before you write your grocery list. You'll end up adding things like ""vegetables"" and ""someone who will marry me."""
"Did u hear about the prostitute with no legs? She's selling it for half off."
"What do you call Bono's stupid brother? Duno..."
"2 fish are in a tank The one asks, ""how do you shoot this?"""
"""Congrats Lobster Boy, u got the job"" [Lobster Boy goes in for the handshake but cuts his employer's hand clean off]"
"For the last few weeks, whenever I get into a conversation with someone... I just wanna say ""ISIS, Donald Trump, Leonardo Dicaprio, Bye."""
"the last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the statue of liberty"
"Current beard: Outdoor woodsman Current body: Indoor couchman"