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Joke of the Day

"BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered"

"Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!"

"What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky I'll show myself out."

"What do you call two black dudes on a motorcycle? An Africa Twin."

"My fat next door neighbor is lying face down on her front lawn. Don't know if she's passed out or eating the grass."

"I had to use my glasses when playing tennis. Because its a no contact sport."

"""OH MY GOD IS THAT GLUTEN ON THE FLOOR!?!?!"" Great way to clear the checkout lines at Whole Foods."

"What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA? Prepare to get RIDD of your intron."

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too! Hey Reddit! What is your favorite Mitch Hedburg joke?"

"Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter ""u"" in words like ""favourite"" and ""colour""? Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why."