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Joke of the Day

"Are you a work of art? Because it looks like Picasso painted you."

"Want to know how to make your PC faster? Paint it black."

"What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show? 19 Kids and Counting"

"You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had. I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes Jihad."

"Why are manhole covers round? Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."

"What did the Italian baseball coach say about the only woman on the team? Ciabatta very good!"

"I like my women like I like my cellphone plan... Free on nights and weekends."

"Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash? Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess."

"Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance."

"The guy who named the peacock was just trying to make himself feel better."