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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: how would you like your steak? Me: rare [later] Waiter: *brings steak with a 1st edition Charizard on it* Me: *tearing up* perfect"

"What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone."

"What do you get when you cross France and Britain? Canada."

"What did the fish say when it rammed into a wall? Dam!"

"Wanna hear a Joke? Women's rights..."

"*yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*"

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have Ethiopians."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ""BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT!"" -Gordon Ramsay"

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."