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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: how would you like your steak? Me: rare [later] Waiter: *brings steak with a 1st edition Charizard on it* Me: *tearing up* perfect"

"The Captain and Tennille are divorcing. Tennille left him after learning he was only a Petty Officer, Third Class."

"Incontinence Hotline Could you hold, please?"

"What's better, Google or Yahoo? Let's Google it."

"What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer? ""I literally chant even..."""

"When two idiots have the same dumb idea... special minds think alike"

"I need to go Wal-Mart but I don't wear pajamas, I'm not a NASCAR fan and I'm not fat. This is what I call a conundrum."

"What do you call a Mexican Aunt? A tor-tia."

"Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!"

"I'm really tired all the time, I think I have stereo... It's like I have mono times two"