193252

Joke of the Day

"Customs Police: Do you have anything to claim? Me: A hot dog is a sandwich. Cop: ""Please step out of the vehicle"""

"Two peanuts walk into a bar And one was assaulted"

"I just remembered the fuck outta The Alamo."

"What do you call a robotic prostitution ring? Nuts and bolts."

"Why did the police chief tell his officers to show up 15 minutes early to the political demonstration? To beat the crowds."

"Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"Twentieth Century Fox should really consider updating their name."

"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"The 2016 election What a joke, am I right?"