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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: *opens front face camera*"

"Someone asked me if I like fish balls. I don't know, I've never attended one."

"""One of my neighbours had half of his large intestine removed,"" I said to my mate. ""Did he end up in a coma?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied, ""But he did end up with a semi-colon."""

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? I'll hang around here, you go on a head."

"Her: What's a girl gotta do to get a drink? Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*"

"After sex, I take the condom off and make a balloon animal for the lady."

"Do they make special shoes for gingers with no soles?"

"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state."

"It's always funny when the flight attendant says ""we know you have a choice of airlines"" as if free will exists."

"What did the donut say to the cop? Don't taste me, bro !"