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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking about telling a Thailand joke... But Phucket."

"What's the best thing about twenty-three year olds? There's 20 of them"

"NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE Waiter: ahem *points to sign* Me: oh that's fine, I'm not ordering anything"

"What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines? A greydient"

"I'm so good at table tennis... I can play with one hand tied behind my back!"

"My dad lied a lot. I was 17 before I realized the 'Silver Table Cat' wasn't a real species, and that we didn't own a pet, we owned a toaster"

"My girlfriend told me she wanted to wake up to Oral I don't know what she expected but it sure as hell wasn't a dick in her mouth"

"Did you hear about the penny and magnifying glass who got married? Their wedding was magnifycent."

"Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind it's too cheesy."

"Did you hear about the ancient bisexual motorcycle gang made up of Norse monarchs? They're called the bi-kings"