190710

Joke of the Day

"'Joe whats that package ya got today?' ""ITS MY BOOK ABOUT CLOCKS. I ORDERED IT LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO"" 'Well its about time, right?' ""RIGHT"""

"What is the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"What do you call twin kittens? Dupli-cats"

"*rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems..."

"How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire? Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up"

"A man was eaten when he attempted to tell a joke directly to a crocodile's mouth. He didn't live to tell the tail."

"Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything."

"Instagram fail Yes, i liked the picture on instagram that you posted 153 weeks ago And no, i didn't do it on purpose..."

"Put my grandma on speed dial Call that Instagram. My friend told me this a little while ago."