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Joke of the Day

"Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it would be R, but they really love the C."

"What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21? Down's in the dumps"

"YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE! An enthusiastic optician throwing dozens of pairs of glasses out into a crowd."

"At what age do you tell your kids that the UN isn't real"

"If I had a talking shark for a sidekick, I'd probably get into more deep sea shenanigans."

"Why didn't Hitler get an A on the math exam? He didn't complete the final solution. I wrote that in my sleep."

"my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying ""jeff is dead"" so they know what the flowers are for"

"""Doctor, doctor! I need a new pair of glasses!"" ""I can see that - this is a hotdog stand."""

"<-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking"