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Joke of the Day

"*boyfriend and girlfriend in shower* Girl: do bad things to me babe Boy: *flicks shampoo in her eyes and trips her over*"

"Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate? Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)"

"Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony."

"I tear the plastic off of dry cleaning with the same intensity Hulk Hogan ripped off his tiny yellow tanktops."

"So my dog told me it was into BDSM So I tied it up and turned on the vacuum cleaner"

"What is moist, smells great, and is for dinner tonight? My poop"

"What's Forest Gump's Facebook Password? 1forest1"

"How do you lose fourteen stone of fat? Dump him."

"Why is North Korea going fail against America? They lack the element of supplies"

"A constipated woman once went 45 days without pooping It was a crowning achievement"