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Joke of the Day

"A shocking new report reveals Donald Trump likes to be peed on by members of his new administration He calls it a Goldman shower"

"Huge bowls of cereal are the parentheses to my night's sleep."

"Girl, are you the New Deal? Because I can feel my infrastructure expanding."

"A man who has no right arm and no right leg falls off his wheelchair Thankfully, a woman passing by noticed him and approached him, offering some help. ""Are you alright?"" ""No, I'm not. I'm all left."""

"Why Did The Boy Drop His Ice Cream? He Got Hit By A Bus."

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."

"Two bacteria walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Get out! We don't serve any bacteria in this bar. The two bacteria say, ""Hey, but we work here. We're staph."""

"I hate taking my paraplegic dog out for walks. It's a real drag."

"What do you call a snake that tells bad jokes? A corn snake"

"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."