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Joke of the Day

"A shocking new report reveals Donald Trump likes to be peed on by members of his new administration He calls it a Goldman shower"

"My girlfriend just said, ""Your obsession with cats is out of control, so I've packed your bags."" I think she's kicking meeeowt."

"When toasting the holidays Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a ""Bud."""

"What did Masters say to Johnson? I don't know what the worlds coming to"

"[February 12] Henry VIII: jeez walmart is out of cards, flowers and chocolate. She's going to kill me! Unless... [February 13] beheads wife"

"Hope you all aren't too good for knock knock jokes Knock knock. ""who's there?"" 9/11 ""9/11 who?"" Wow.. And you said you would never forget."

"I'm going to change my name to Benefits' Now when you add me on Facebook it will say ""You are now friends with benefits."""

"I'm addicted to brake fluid... ....but I can stop whenever I want."

"The Browns asked if they could put a pokestop inside the stadium... in hopes that people would attend their games."

"What's truly horrifying is when my generation starts having children on purpose."