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Joke of the Day

"Three guys walk into a bar... They grab a couple of drinks, pay in full and leave like the good people they are."

"My wife thought I was crazy when I suggested a car made out of spaghetti You should've seen her face when I was driving pasta!"

"Cecil the lion's brother was just poached in Zimbabwe That family is like the Stark family of the animal kingdom"

"How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other."

"On Monday nights, I give my plants the pleasure of a striptease show by watering them with ice cubes."

"I bet when slutty girls get cremated instead of ashes the family just gets an urn full of glitter."

"According to hotel AC, the difference between 72 degrees and 73 degrees is 40 degrees."

"How does a musician make a million dollars? They start with 2 million."

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf"