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Joke of the Day
"I finally told her those three magical words every woman wish to hear.. I give up!"
Next Joke
"So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar Just kidding"
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"A man goes into the library and says ""Do you have that book about small penis's?"" Librarian says,"" I don't think it's in yet"". Man,"" Yes, that's the one""."
"A recent study states that one of women's most common turnoffs on the first date is when men keep answering their phones. Especially when it's their wife on the line."
"During an appointment, a doctor tells his patient, ""You have got to stop masturbating!"" The patient gets concerned and asks, ""Why? Is it affecting my health?"" ""No! I'm just trying to examine you!"""
"Why Do Kids In High school Take Art? You don't have to pay for the glue to sniff..."
"What will the first female Mexican head of state be called? The Precedent."
"*plugs my phone in to charge when it's at 80%* *lets the low battery warning on my fire alarm beep for 6 months*"
"My wife always tells me not to take things personally, so I hired a guy to do it for me. He already stole a bike."