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Joke of the Day

"What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a house fire :)."

"When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid."

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"Q: What do you call four matadors in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko."

"Bill Gates is a good rapper. Word."

"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"

"What's the difference between a dilapidated, run down bus stop and a big breasted lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."

"Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital? He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)"

"ME: You're a silly sausage aren't you? SAUSAGE: [peering over spectacles] I may have acted out in my youth but that's not what defines me."

"That's the pope favorite method of payment? PayPal"