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Joke of the Day

"How often do I make a chemistry joke? Periodically."

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"Catch her by her waist... Bring her home.. Keep ur hand on her neck Put ur lips on her lips & have a ... ...nice drink...PEPSI"

"Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem."

"What kind of parasites do gangstas get? Thug Lice."

"[First date] Me: So, I've been married for 12 years - Him: You're married?? Me: Is that a problem?"

"The other day I found two gold bars. I've always dreamed of an Au pair."

"Another Dutch joke about the Belgiums Two Belgians are walking in the desert with a car door. One of them complains that its too hot. The other one says: ""just roll down the window."""

"GOD: let's make an armored raccoon that turns into a bowling ball ANGEL: but why wou- GOD: and we'll call it an armadillo for some reason"

"I told you not to let those pigs In my office. Now look what's happened. They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!"