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Joke of the Day

"Just yelled ""out of my way monsters!"" at a flock of seagulls, so I'm done interacting socially for the day"

"How to make $500 fast Attach it to a rocket Credit: 4chan"

"He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool"

"There's a dog on my street who practices Islam. I don't have a problem with his religion, I just wish he wouldn't wake me up every morning at 5am shouting ""ALLAHU AK-BARK."""

"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."

"Mexican joke What do you call a Mexican without a car? Carlos"

"Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago? You bet jurassic would."

"What do you call a metalhead with a cold? Flemmy"

"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"