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Joke of the Day

"I overheard a work colleague saying they are going to a fancy dress party as a small island of the coast of Italy I said don't be Sicily"

"The only difference between a psychiatrist and a drug dealer is that the drug dealer doesn't make you wait an hour."

"What do you call a person with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Fucked."

"why can't you hear michelle pfeiffer in the bathroom? Because the P is silent."

"Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. ""Did you enjoy yourself?"" asked her mother when she got home. ""Oh yes"" replied Fred. ""But it was funny going to a dead zoo."""

"Good friends are like bottles of sweet wine .. that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar."

"I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people"

"""Do you want to be the numerator or the denominator tonight...? You're so radical!"" How I hit on my imaginary mathematician girlfriend"

"I remember the last thing my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?"

"Why did Satan need life alert? Because he had fallen, and could not get back up."