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Joke of the Day

"Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!"

"What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? A Yoghurt's got culture!"

"Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them."

"Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind it stinks!"

"Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels."

"Captain Ahab's crew were highly efficient sailors In fact, they were running like a whale oiled machine."

"What's heavier 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? The feathers. because you have the weight of the feathers and you have to carry around the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

"My life coach told me I was going to be traded at the end of the year."

"How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Hang one in the front!"

"Your head is basically just the smartest part of your body wrapped in the spookiest part of your body."