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Joke of the Day

"What do mysoginy and racism have in common? Black women."

"Whats the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!"

"Omg what a weekend - I don't need to eat again for the rest of this year. Is that cheesecake?"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None"

"I was wondering why the night had to be this long... ...Then it dawned upon me."

"Don't let anyone's hate, negativity, ignorance or drama stop you from being the asshole you strive to be."

"Haven't taken a dump in 4 days and I feel fine. Then again, I could just be full of shit."

"Why did the melon leave her boyfriend? He said he can't elope."

"Gather round children, for my machine powered by round children"

"Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said ""fuck you"". So i'm pretty excited about 2017."