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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, why is it dark at night?"" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny."

"I have ADHD How do I upgrade to AD4K?"

"I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer."

"Can you believe they got back together after all that shit? MY BUTT CHEEKS!!!"

"Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments? Because they were for test porpoise only"

"I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it..... It's true, I saw it with my own eyes."

"What do you call 24 carrots? Edible gold."

"Where do you send Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder? Concentration camp."

"What is a Pirate's favorite letter? Listener usually answers: R? Punchline: (In pirate voice) No! It is the C!"

"What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Asked my buddy ""What would you call an elephant and a rhino mixed?"". He looks at me and says ""Shit man, Helliphino""."