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Joke of the Day

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic"

"I hate those who are anti-democracy, anti-freedom or anti-semitic but if there is one anti thing that i like it is Anti-jokes"

"What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf"

"Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what ""nerd"" means."

"pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them"

"What do you call fat people eating McDonalds? Cannibalism"

"NSA joke I always said President Obama bugged me."

"Nick Clegg I just found out he was a politician! I thought Nick Clegg was just what you do to stop Oscar Pistorius from getting away."

"Fat chances are my favorite chances"

"TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately. It's part of an official federal plan to make America grate again."