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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the robbery at the flower shop? It was a violet crime."
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"I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though."
"Don't lye. It makes you basic."
"What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They're both en route to uranus to wipe out the klingons"
"Has a conversation in my head - Cackles with mirth"
"How can a vegetarian satisfy himself in a non vegetarian Indian restaurant? Naan"
"[NSFW]We should learn three things from dogs. 1. Love 2. Trust 3. Faithfulness And what we actually learn? Doggy style"
"How are bears related to cooking? The pan... duh"
"Q: What happens when a professor teaches for a decade? A: He gets Tenyear."
"2017 New Years Resolution First step: write down the resolu"