18349

Joke of the Day

"[leaving a birthday party with my pinata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that ""Just take me home"""

"How to become a The Fray fan in easy steps - Step 1: You say, ""We need to talk..."""

"Earlier today, scientists made it official that dolphins are second only to men when it comes to intelligence. So that pushes women further down to third place?"

"tomorrow I am going to find the tomb of Ben Franklin and whisper stories of old and lusty ladies into his ear, as he would have wished it"

"Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory."

"What is Mozart doing now? He is de-composing"

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"My grandfather, bless him, he can't really do what he used to Bomb the Germans."

"What's the difference between a toilet and a drummer? A toilet only has to deal with shit from one asshole at a time."

"To impress a woman in the workplace, ignore her body and compliment her IDEAS. Example: Sharon it was a great idea to wear that tight skirt"