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Joke of the Day

"Winter coats look like people gained 10 pounds, a perfect indicator for how they will look without the coat when the holiday season is over"

"*A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink* WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO."

"So a chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar... ...to help his friends change a lightbulb"

"A pencil puts on a hat and turns to another pencil and says, ""this hat looks terrible doesn't it?"" The other pencil days, ""it does, but I don't see your point."""

"What's the thin line between love and hate? A condom."

"When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross."

"If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja."

"*2 year old runs by screaming* *72 ducks chasing her* ""YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BREAD."""

"#WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming."

"I offended a girl at Ethnicity Club. Apparently she didn't like my tone."