182151

Joke of the Day

"I asked my teacher what I had to do to pass the course. He said to get 50% on the exam and give him a blowjob But I don't think I got 50% on the exam"

"If cats could talk, they would talk a lot of shit, I bet."

"Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more"

"You're an asshole Superman."

"Soon be Christmas... WHO SAYS doing Christmas shopping early avoids the crush? Last year, I did mine a full 12 months in advance, and the shops were just as busy as ever."

"There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night."

"Hi electron, will you be at home tonight? Probably."

"Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch."

"If you were looking for a joke about pee... urine luck."

"Muslim book store in New York: A man asks if they have the latest Donald Trump book on immigration. ""Fuck off, get out and don't come back"" says the store owner. ""That's the one!"" says the man"