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Joke of the Day

"A man got knocked out the other day... I said to him ""dont worry, I called you an ambulance while you where knocked out"" *points* you're an ambulance! You're an ambulance! You're an ambulance!"

Next Joke
 
"the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something..."
"Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said ""Hell I'm no actor and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"""
"What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!"
"What do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape D:"
"Listen, I might be 320 pounds but my doctor says I have the heart of a 20 year old athlete. Thank god he'd signed a donor card."
"I have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder...but I heard great things about him, like he supported 3 people at one time... last I heard he was In a 12 step program"
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter how many of them come, they can't change a thing."
"The NSA is coming to town You better not call, You better not Skype, You better not type and I'm telling you why, The NSA is coming to town"
"Getting your shit together just sounds unsanitary"