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Joke of the Day

"One time I actually found a magic lamp with a genie inside but it was back in 2005 so that's why I have three Motorola Razrs."

"I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years."

"She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!"

"What do you call a sexually-confused Arctic Circle? Bi-polar"

"Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll"

"A photon checks into a hotel.. The bellhop says: ""Can I get your bags?"" The photon says: ""that's ok, I'm traveling light"" - I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness"

"Wanna hear a joke The UN"

"Nuclear programs are always for peaceful purposes. Drop a nuke on an enemy and suddenly they're peaceful"

"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."

"I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry."