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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? 100 people who don't do dick."
Next Joke
"Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship? All they will do is fight tooth and nail!"
"Due to recent cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."
"What's the difference between an Iraqi school and an Iraqi Army base? One poses a significant potential threat to ISIS and its continued existence. The other is an Iraqi Army base."
"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."
"Friend: ""I just blew a speaker in my car."" Me: ""Which kind?"" Friend: ""Motivational."""
"Why would you throw a rock at a Mexican man riding a bike? Because it's probably your bike. Why would you throw a rock at a black man riding a bike? Because it's probably your black man."
"Martin Shkreli in jail: ""Can I have an aspirin?"" Jail: ""Yes. That will be $197,000."""
"Where do pencils go for vacation? Pencil-vania."
"Why did the eskimo spend 3 hours arguing with the return counter? Because the warranty is void if the seal is broken."