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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the student with the best overall average in a graduating class at an all girl's school? vulvavictorian"

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"I sure do feel a shitload more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym."
"What's Terrance Howard's favorite Radiohead song? ""(1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"""
"Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?"
"What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water? You can afford four fjord forders' fords."
"Hey Joe, did you return that axe to Frank? Yes. And what did he say? Yaaaaauh!"
"A woman tries to flirt with a depressed man suffering from ID crisis in a bar. Woman: Hey! Who's the handsome man here? And the dude goes ""Oh God! Not again! Who am I?"""
"[REQUEST]: Looking for Altitude Competition Flying Joke Looking for the old joke about several pilots bragging about their flight altitudes (?), and then the last one one-upping them all."
"Did I ever tell you about how I once dated a stripper named Cake? She always used to let me have it and eat it, too."
"What should female robots NOT come standard with. A sound card..."