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Joke of the Day
"Guests are like fish After three days, you should probably get rid of them."
Next Joke
"I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night... I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."
"My girlfriend told me our safe-word was too easy to forget I said, ""Ok, let's make it 'harder.' """
"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big."
"I hate that I push myself to do so many squats and lunges only to be forced into walking like a penguin the next day."
"Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams, today I asked her to marry me She said no both times"
"If you're at a party and people start chanting your name, you're obligated to do anything they want you to do."
"Although not as effective as finger quotes, finger commas and finger periods are way fun."
"I only have a beard so I can scratch it while I judge."
"A murder A man walks into a crowded bar, pulls out a knife, and murders another man. Then he walked out. * I bet you laughed, this joke is a *killer*"