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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? ""You said 'without shins,' right?"""

"Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself."

"What do Americans call the summer holidays? Ceasefire"

"My girlfriend fell and got a bruise on her ass. It was nasty. and the bruise was ugly too."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I was impressed, that is a big word for a two year old. I'll see myself out...."

"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."

"For $2.20 you can get a medium coffee and a free 14 year supplies worth of napkins at dunkin donuts."

"I'm not crying. I'm just watering my moustache."

"If you ever want to be bummed all day, think about how Jordan's national carrier is called ""Royal Jordanian Airways"" instead of ""Air Jordan"""

"What do you call the director of Kill Bill out in the sun? Squintin' Tarantino"