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Joke of the Day

"there's no way leo dicaprio cares about winning an oscar as much as we care about imagining that SOMETHING torments a rich handsome actor"

"You are depriving some poor village of its idiot."

"What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake"

"Why have all the immigrants left? They had no rights."

"I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money."

"Why am I not afraid of Michelle Obama banning soda pop? She said ""If you like your Dr. Pepper, you can keep your Dr. Pepper."""

"If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear."

"I can be up bright or early. Pick one."

"*Geography Bee* Judge: ""Tell me about Yemen."" Me: ""Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn't breakup with Janice on Friends."""

"Why was the stoner kicked out of the eating competition? He was caught using performance enhancing drugs."