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Joke of the Day

"there's no way leo dicaprio cares about winning an oscar as much as we care about imagining that SOMETHING torments a rich handsome actor"

"How can you tell if your son is gay? Ask him to go to a football game. If he can't go, because he's busy sucking his boyfriend's dick, he might be gay."

"What do the Enterprise and and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus searching for klingons."

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my dick"

"What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano? A diseased beaver on your organ."

"Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other? They already know everything."

"Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter"

"I bought myself two eggplants and so far neither has laid a single egg."

"""Are we going the right way, Yoda?"" ""Off course, we are!"" Happy May 4th everyone"

"I've been constipated for four days I'm getting real tired of this shit."