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Joke of the Day

"It's quite ironic. Whitney used to do commercials for Pepsi, then spend all the money she made on Coke."

"What did the depressed terrorist say to the passengers on the plane he hijacked? I'm sorry to bring you all down."

"You only live once, so don't forget to spend 15 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers."

"What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick? A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning.."

"Rumour has it Eminem has converted to Islam. From now on, he will call himself ""Muslim Shady."""

"Netflix is all, ""Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"""

"GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT"

"When I wss a kid I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts For eating a Brownie."

"*Food arrives* *Waits 3 days* *Slowly takes bite of food* *Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage* HOW IS EVERYTHING??"

"Why do tornadoes move so erratically? -They are dizzy"