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Joke of the Day

"A man is praying to God because his son is a stripper. God replies, you think you've got it bad, my son thinks he's a doctor."

"I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape. I should probably look into getting a new keyboard."

"What's your best math/science pick up line?"

"Why is wheat a hillbilly grain? X/post from r/funny Because its inbread"

"If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee"

"Did you hear they are trucking tons of coal to Mt. Rushmore? There going to add Obama."

"How come, ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologise mean the same thing... ....except when you say them at a funeral?"

"What should you do with your sick pig? make it into cured bacon"

"Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that."

"[reading test results] ""It looks like you're gonna be just fine"" [nurse whispers in ear] ""Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks"" -Steve Harvey M.D."