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Joke of the Day

"Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!"

"I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all."

"*Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!"

"I'm not bisexual. I'm ambisextrous."

"(Rushes to hospital) Dr: Your mother is extremely critical. Me: Don't overreact doctor, she's like that with everyone."

"I can't decide what's scarier, someone scrolling through the pictures on my iPhone or someone scrolling through my Google search history."

"There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I'm gonna be friggin' unstoppable....."

"A bunch of white men came up with ways to solve institutional racism, and all without having to listen to even one black person. GREAT JOB!"

"I got invited to a block party recently. I show up, blocks EVERYWHERE."

"I saw a flock of angry ducks the other day. I wonder why they were in such a fowl mood."